Talent Reality Shows Face Off: Part TWO

Quick Update: So I'm actually blogging as scheduled. Yay me, I guess.

Song Stuck In My Head: Smells Like Teen Spirit, the Nirvana cover by 2CELLOS. Has anyone seen these two guys? No? GO TO YOUTUBE. NOW.

Okay, so if anyone had seen my last post, you know that SSF has a Talent Reality Show theme going on this week. We're judging the shows like their contestants get judged.

So let's get right to it. Monday was the Premises, Prizes, and Network. Don't believe me? READ IT FOR YOURSELF. Today is the HOSTS, JUDGES, WINNERS, and LOOOOSERS.

HOSTS

American Idol: Ryan Seacrest, who makes sure you see a lot of him. Or hear a lot of him. Top 40 radio. New's Years Specials. Hosting everything he possibly can. But he has a nice smile, so we like him, okay?

X Factor: Steve Jones. Ahhh...hopefully you didn't get too attached.

The Voice: Carlson Daly, a man trying ever so hard to be the next Seacrest through his own late night show (airs after Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno, when most of the world is asleep) and even hosting his own New Year's special! Good for him.

America's Got Talent: Fiesty Nick Cannon, also Mr. Mariah Carey. Easygoing dude who jokes around with the talent a lot. After all, it get's pretty ridiculous. First you have a dance crew or innocent little kid, then you have a drag queen or...well, this. Does anyone remember this?

Winner of this round: No one can deny the power of the Seacrest. AMERICAN IDOL takes this guys.

THE JUDGES

American Idol: Second year of having stable judges, which hasn't happened in a while. Formula: Nice, Latina divorcee plus Flirtacious 70's rock singer plus Experienced but Hip Music Mogul. Somehow it works, though poor Randy Jackson has had to make the harsh critiques a lot more often with no one to properly advise the contestants.

X Factor: Everyone's favorite British badmouth who's softened up like a marshmallow so far, and a record label superstar who discovered everyone from Pink to Justin Bieber to - the most important in my petty, teenage book - Avril Lavigne. As for the Ex-Pop Star and inexperienced female group leader, the axe came down on hard on them. Who know Simon could do such a thing, cutting two people off his show just like that! Oh, wait...

The Voice: Country star, pop/soul singer rocking the Top 40, pop/rock band leader taking over the Top 40, and one ex-pop star who, despite her haters, is still well-known for her voice. IT's a formula that covers all genres and would well, if only they actually showed the judges being anything but nice to the contestants. At least they compete with each other.

America's Got Talent: How this formula works, I don't know, but it does. Lovely British wife of a heavy metal superhero mixed with a former comedian whose other TV credits include Deal or No Deal and Mobbed, and now trashtalking radio host Howard Stern. While we've yet to see Stern in action, he will surely be a worthy replacement for the intelligent but cruel past judge, Piers Morgan.

Winner this round: Any show except for the X Factor. So, AMERICAN IDOL, THE VOICE, and AMERICA'S GOT TALENT...congrads! Prizes for all!

Now onto the actual winners...

WINNERS

American Idol: Everyone from superstars Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood to erm....Jordin Sparks, the cool Lee Dewyze (Duwyze?) dude, and that-guy-with-the-gray-hair-everyone-forgot-about-I-think.

Let's play a game...name that Idol!

X Factor: So far, Melanie Armaro, with a huge comeback and hero's story. She was also recently featured in a Pepsi commercial with Elton John. Yep. Sponsorship and Corporate America is still going strong.

The Voice: Javier Colon! Hmm. Wonder how that dude's doing....

America's Got Talent: A surprising number of singers and artists for a show focused on variety acts...coincidence? Though there is no denying Landaeu Eugene Murphy deserved the win last year.

Winner this round: the X Factor...so far...

And onto the people who sometimes are just as famous if not more famous than their winners...

LOSERS

American Idol: Everyone from Clay Aiken and Adam Lambert to Smash's Katharine McPhee, Weight Watchers/Dream Girl Jennifer Hudson, and Daughtry frontman Chris Daughtry.

X Factor: A lot of people, but we mostly remember the kids. Like smart-mouth rapper Astro, who got a gig on...a detective show! (Seriously!)

The Voice: Um....those people. You know. With the faces?

America's Got Talent: Another everybody. Jackie Evancho, the opera-singing little girl, didn't win even. Can you believe that!? Of course, America's Got Talent actually has a reason why some acts aren't always the winners or voted through...do you really want young, innocent Jackie hosting her own Vegas show?

The winners this round: American Idol all the way. No show's runners-up and even bad auditioners have gone on to achieve as much as fame as the winners, not like Idol. So at least they got that going for them.

That is all for today, my friends. But be sure to comment on who you think deserve the best of the best when it comes to the people on talent reality shows. Really. I like comments.

Until then...um....

DANG IT I FORGOT I DON'T HAVE A SIGN-OFF!

Later.