Friday, December 21, 2012

Great Things to Do Today (Instead of Die)

Congratulations. You have made it to the apocalypse. Right now you are either a) hiding in a bomb shelter with gas masks and gross food or B) on the internet, looking at blogs. I’m going to guess it’s the second.

So, how can you have fun during the END OF THE WORLD? Well, SSF has your answers.

1. Thank your Maker. Your God/higher being/Tom Cruise/mother/werewolf pack that raised you. Thank them! Really! You should be thankful for every day.

2. Listen to happy, corny, sickeningly cheery pop songs. It'll be something to keep you cheerful. Today is going to be tense, whether you think there's any credibility in the Mayan calendar or not.

3. Run into the streets with a sword (preferably fake) screaming, “I did it! I KILLED GANON AND SAVED HYRULE!” See how it long it takes for your local news station to show up.

4. No sword? Simply mix up some red kool-aid and run into the streets screaming, “It’s begun!”, “Run for your lives!”, “Where’s the spaceship!”, “You’re next!”, or whatever crazy nonsense you can come up with. See how long it takes until your local news station shows up.

5. Listen to your end-of-the-world playlist. (See this post) Especially listen to R.E.M’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”.

6. Keep track of how many views R.E.M gets today (and don’t be surprised if it surpasses Psy’s “Gangnam Style”. Actually, it probably won’t. Nobody can defeat Psy).

7. Now that we're talking about "Gangnam Style". What better way to celebrate life than by watching the now-most-watched-Youtube-video-of-all-time?

8. Ignore all the Christmas movies on TV and watch 2012. Start thinking about how to convince your grandchildren how you survived this.

(Okay that might take some convincing)

9. Do legitimate research on Mayan culture. I’m sure they weren’t ALL such bad guys.

10. Get some friends together and start plotting up the next doomsday. Choose a date, come up with a creepy but possibly true theory, and decide what catastrophes will occur (internet shuts down? Nuclear bombs explode? Justin Bieber is cloned?) Now choose an internet board and get it out there!

11. Sleep. Seriously. Just sleep through the whole day and wake up on the 22nd. It’ll be nice.

What are your plans for today, December 21st, 2012? Will you live it up or go on as normal?


  1. I just have to tell you, since you don't seem to have a ton of traffic on this blog, that you are hilarious. Seriously, I'm sitting here, half asleep mind you, and suddenly I'm cracking up... And considering creating the next doomsday. Seems like a good way to get attentinon. Plus, I always get scared to do lots of stuff online, which is probably the main other way to get attention, but I always feel like I'd attract crazy cyborgs and beer bellied rapists. Anyway, you're cool... unless you are indeed a cyborg or rapist. Or axe murderer. Really any murderer. But still... Assuming you're not, you are flippin' hilarious.

  2. Haha, great blog. Totally wish I had seen this on "Apocalypse Day".