Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Let’s Talk About Zombies (And Vamps…and Werewolves…and so on)

Quick Update: Is it weird to love Lady Gaga but not favor Madonna whatsoever? I feel like a hypocrite.

Song Stuck In My Head: Glee's cover of a My Chemical Romance song, "Sing". Now THAT really took me by surprise.

What a week I had! Mostly it was spent being sick out of my mind (which I’m using as my alibi for the lack of blogging last week) but it was also spent watching “Zombieland” a couple times (one of the inspirations for this post, and definite future “Rec of the Week”), diving deep into a huge AvrilLavigneobsession mode, etc. Oh, and watching my first ever 3-D movie! No, it wasn’t something cool and adult like “Santum”. It was - and you all have permission to laugh your head off at this, because I certainly did - Justin Bieber’s “Never Say Never”.

Don’t worry, though I was ill with many sicknesses last week, “Bieber Fever” *snort* was not among them. It was mostly a chance to hang out with my best friend, and fellow fan girl, who happens to be a diagnosed with a serious case of BF. Her Twitter page background is just a repeated tile of him right now as we speak. The main problem was that no one warned me of the damage 3-D effects do to one’s eyes. I mean…uh, ow.

Okay, onto the actual blogging. Well…half-attempt at actual blogging.

So I just found out one of my favorite Sick Puppies songs, “The Bottom”, is a song written from a zombie to its next victim. Not only does a lot about it make sense, but it also made me think. In the end, which modern and fictional critter is truly the most badass?

And so, the randomness begins.


Why they are badass…Well, they eat you. I would consider that a little terrifying. If anyone has seen “Zombieland”, whose zombies are friggin’ SCARY monsters that drool black guck and blood, you know how true that is. Pretty much, zombies have no conscience or intelligent thoughts. Unless “foooooood” counts as an intelligent thought. They’re just diseased, and they spread the disease like wildfire so they’re not alone. There’s no point to their monstrosity - it just is. Which makes them pretty eerie.

Why they’re not so badass…. Zombies are far from immortal, though undead. As seen in various movies and videogames (I.e Resident Evil games) human weapons are more than enough to take them out. I mean, if Jesse Eisenberg of all people can kill zombies, obviously any of us can.


Why they’re badass: Well, Twilight references put aside, most vampires in literature have been known to be sadistic and creepily intelligent critters. They’re immortals, so they have a lot of time to kill. Humans don’t mean much but pawns to them, chess pieces they can play with in their little games. Since humans are also edible pawns to vampires, the vamps can be pretty merciless too. Unlike zombies, they do have a conscience and thoughts, but they use it too. Psychological bullies, in the long run, are worse than physical ones.

Why they’re not so badass: Since the majority do have consciences, they also tend to be a little…overridden by human-like emotions. Love isn’t the only one, though recently it’s been used to the point of abuse. Guilt can be one, like with Angel of the Buffy the Vampire series whose weighed down with regret over all the innocent people he killed. There’s also fear, insecurity, etc.


Why they’re badass…Werewolves are animals. As in, all human qualities like emotions or feelings…once the fur’s out, they’re gone. Instincts take over, and in most paranormal fiction or horror movies, they become downright monsters who aim to kill and destroy. They have fangs, claws, and are more like rabid wolves than half-humans if written right. If not written right….

Why they’re not badass… Well, werewolves are animals. They’re not exactly the most fearful thing in the world. Are you more afraid of a human with a weapon or an angry dog? Besides, everyone knows silver gets them. And you only have to worry about them twelve times a year, on a planned schedule. They are easier to avoid than most critters.


Why they’re badass…Yeah, yeah, they’re not many books where fairies are the danger. But they can be, both fairies and their close relatives, the pixies. They’re small little buggers with human intelligence but the speed and strengths of bees and wasps. And we all know they have sharp teeth too. How is there not a hundred slasher films about fairies yet?

Why they’re not badass… It’s a mixture of their glittery dust, colorful wings, adorableness, and the fact we were all raised to believe fairies are like Tinkerbell.

Why they’re badass…. Look at how easily they can attack unsuspecting victims. They’re in gardens all over the world, passed off as innocent, Santa-like statues. Yet when they attack…who knows what will happen. Apparently there’s already a book written about the possible hazards of this too.

Why they’re not badass… Well…

All the evidence I give to you of the badassery of sloths is this picture my friend showed me a while back. You have been warned.

So, any badass monsters give you the shivers? Or can you think of any critters whose dangers have yet to be known to the public?

Okay, enough randomness for the week. Hopefully I’ll have a Rec of the Week post for you guys sometime Friday. Till then, happy Wednesday and Thursday!


  1. Ahh, Faeries, when they're spelled Faeries scare me, lol. And mermaids too...Why? Cuz they're creepy, they live in the water and innocently call to their lovers who drown to get to them...and then there's sirens, who ARE HALF BIRD, hello??? And they would do the whole singing eerily thing...and then their simultaneous suicide when a few dudes about obsessed...I still believe they didn't all die, but extended their horror to airplanes too. Thus the Bermuda Triangle.
    take care

  2. @Little Broken Heart. True, something about the spelling changes does make fairies, or "faeres" very creepy, LOL. And I'm with you on the sirens as well.

  3. I love these creatures. I haven't thought about their badassery until now.

  4. @Goon haha. I'm sure that will only come back to help you.

    @Medeia :)